DON KICHOT W METRZE

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W piątkowe przedpołudnie wyszedłem domu, w roboczym stroju – płaszczu i kapeluszu, ze wzmacniaczem w wózeczku na kółkach, aby wygłosić mowę don Kichota w Bibliotece Uniwersyteckiej. Razem z Gosią Litwinowicz, Beatą Frankowską i Agnieszką Aysen Kaim pracujemy w tym roku nad opowiadaniem donkichotowych ksiąg (bagatela ponad 1200 stron!). Jednym z wątków, który nas szczególnie zainteresował były mowy, wygłaszane przy każdej okazji przez don Kichota i Sanczo Pansę. Chociaż dzieło Cervantesa ma doczepiona etykietę parodii romansu rycerskiego i powszechnie kojarzy się ze sceną szaleńca walczącego z wiatrakami, zaskoczyło nas, jak wiele wypowiadanych w niej kwestii uderza i rezonuje ze strunami współczesności. Don Kichot razem z Sancho, niczym hodża Nasreddin, najpierw wywołują nasz śmiech, który po chwili wybrzmiewa pytaniem: Ale tak naprawdę, to z czego albo z kogo my się śmiejemy naprawdę? A potem księga staje się niczym lustro, w którym odbija się nasza współczesność i my sami!

Bo czego to nie ma w tym „Don Kichocie” z La Manczy”. Wolność, miłość i nienawiść; szaleństwo i polityczna poprawność; realność i fikcja: współczucie i okrucieństwo; prawa kobiet, prawa zwierząt i prawa autorskie; ciało i dusza: smakowanie lektury ksiąg i bigosu z baraniną… Tak, mogę z pełnym przekonaniem ogłosić, że W DON KICHOCIE JEST WSZYSTKO!

Spośród tych niezliczonych wątków każdy z nas wybrał swój motyw, wokół którego przygotował mowę, w której słowa bohaterów Cervantesa w zadziwiająco harmonijny sposób łączyły się z wolnościowymi mowami Marina Luthera Kinga i Lecha Wałęsy; cytatami z Platona i Arystotelesa i manifestami feministek i obrońców praw zwierząt. Ja przygotowałem mowę wokół pytania, które stale dzwoni mi w uszach, gdy tylko przywołuję postać don Kichotami – A JA, A TY, A WY TO KOGO NAŚLADUJECIE?

W drodze do BUWU, gdzie mieliśmy wygłosić nasze mowy, zamyślony, dotarłem do metra. Przed wejściem na peron uświadomiłem sobie, że mam „cienki” bilet z autobusowego automatu, którego nie można włożyć do automatu bramki. Gdzieś tam wyczytałem kiedyś, że w takiej sytuacji trzeba się udać do jakiegoś punktu, by odebrać bezpłatną wejściówkę. Nie chciało mi się. Pomyślałem, żeby iść do windy, ale jak wiadomo w warszawskim metrze nie jest łatwo do niej trafić. Postanowiłem po prostu poprosić kogoś, by otworzył mi bramkę.

– Przepraszam, czy mógłby pan mi otworzyć bramkę, mam bilet, który…- nie dokończyłem prośby skierowanej do młodego mężczyzny z teczką, gdy usłyszałem już odpowiedź:

– Automaty z biletami są tam!

Za drugim podejściem było tak samo. Uświadomiłem sobie wtedy, że jestem już trochę stary, bo pamiętam czasy PRL-u, w których w podobnej sytuacji od razu ktoś by mi pomógł, bo każda niesubordynacja wobec „bramek systemu” wzbudzała raczej powszechna sympatię. Może więc po prostu doczekaliśmy się społeczeństwa szanującego przepisy prawa? (choć przecież go nie łamałem, bo miałem ten przeklęty cienki bilet!).

O! idzie dzieczyna! Teraz się uda!

– Przeraszam panią, czy mogłaby mi pani otworzyć bramkę…

A jednak znów to samo! Porażka! Poczułem się gorzej, bo w reakcjach ludzi na moja prośbę wyczułem ton pogardy i agresji… I nagle poczułem się WYKLUCZONY. ŚWIAT DZIELI SIĘ NA TYCH, KTÓRZY MAJĄ BILETY, I TYCH, KTÓRZY ICH NIE MAJĄ! A ja jestem po tej gorszej stronie. I to jeszcze w tym płaszczu, kapeluszu, ze wzmacniaczem na kółkach i mową don Kichota w kieszeni. Komediant i szaleniec! Ale przecież taka jest moja ukochana praca, która sobie wybrałem!

Skierowałem się w stronę windy. Na peron wyszedłem, czując się jak don Kichot. Z uśmiechem pobłażania patrzyłem na ludzi. A wy to kogo naśladujecie? Byłem już gotowy do wygłoszenia swojej mowy! Posłuchajcie!

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MOWA DON KICHOTA

Przybyłem tu, by dowieść, słowami i przykładem, że błędne rycerstwo to żadne tam szaleństwa, majaki, żadne mrzonki, jak twierdzą niektórzy na podstawie fałszywych relacji miernot, zdolnych jedynie do tworzenia żałosnych plagiatów dla pieniędzy! To ja jestem oryginałem! To ja przekażę wam prawdziwą wersję prawdy o błędnych rycerzach! A zrobię to po to, byście zdobyli się na naśladownictwo zagubionych rycerskich cnót i poderwali ten świat, w którym królują: lenistwo, próżniactwo, obżarstwo i wygodnictwo!

Błędne rycerstwo to nie tylko rzemiosło wojenne, to nauka, tak! Podkreślam z cała mocą, TO NAUKA, która zawiera w sobie większość nauk świata! Błędny rycerz, tak jak mędrzec, musi posiadać wiedzę możliwie o wszystkich rzeczach, mimo iż nie będzie posiadał wiedzy o każdej poszczególnej rzeczy. Musi być biegły w prawie i znać prawa sprawiedliwości rozdzielczej i wymiennej, aby dać każdemu, co mu się należy i co mu jest potrzebne. Musi być teologiem, aby wyjaśnić chrześcijańskie prawo, które wyznaje, jasno i wyraźnie, gdziekolwiek się o to go poprosi. Musi być lekarzem, a przede wszystkim zielarzem, żeby poznać po pustkowiu zioła mające cnotę gojenia ran, bo nie będzie błędny rycerz co chwilę ganiał za kimś, kto go opatrzy. Musi być astrologiem, żeby z gwiazd wyczytać, ile godzin nocy minęło i w jakim klimacie świata się znajduje. Musi znać matematykę…I pomijając to, że musi być ozdobiony wszystkimi cnotami teologicznymi i kardynalnymi, schodząc do większych drobnostek, mówię, że musi umieć pływać, podkuć konia, oporządzić siodło i kiełzno, a wracając do góry, musi dochowywać wiary w Boga i swoją damę. Musi być czysty w myślach, uczciwy w słowach, szczodry w działaniu, cierpiący w tarapatach, miłosierny wobec potrzebujących i na koniec musi bronić prawdy, choćby miał za to zapłacić życiem!

A teraz zobaczcie, czy to smarkata nauka, której poświęca się rycerz, studiujący ja i wyznający, i czy można ją zrównać z tą, którą naucza się dzisiaj w szkołach i na uniwersytetach?

Ktoś pewnie chciałby zapytać, co trzeba zrobić, żeby wejść na drogę błędnego rycerstwa.

Kiedy jakiś malarz chce zyskać sławę w swojej sztuce, stara się naśladować najlepszych malarzy, jakich zna, i ta sama zasada odnosi się do wszystkich innych liczących się zawodów i zajęć służących ku ozdobie rzeczpospolitej, i tak powinien robić każdy, kto chce zdobyć sobie imię roztropnego i cierpliwego, naśladując Odyseusza, w którego osobie i przypadkach maluje nam Homer żywy obraz roztropności i cierpienia, jak też okazał nam Wergiliusz w osobie Eneasza męstwo pobożnego syna i przebiegłość dzielnego i rozumnego przywódcy, nie malując ani nie odkrywając, jacy oni byli, lecz przedstawiając ich takimi, jacy powinni być, aby dać przykład ich cnót innym ludziom. Już rozumiecie: naśladownictwem błędny rycerz się karmi i podlewa te dyspozycje, które by powinny uschnąć, i kierownictwo nad nami oddaje tym skłonnościom, które same kierownictwa potrzebują, jeżeli mamy się stać lepsi i szczęśliwsi, a nie gorsi i mniej szczęśliwi.

Zapytacie, ale kogo mają naśladować błędni rycerze? To ja was zapytam, kto był najdoskonalszym z błędnych rycerzy, pierwszym i jedynym, panem wszystkich, którzy w jego czasach żyli na świecie? Nie wiecie? Trochę mi wstyd za was…TO AMADIS z Wali! To on! Gwiazda Poranna! Słońce dzielnych i zakochanych rycerzy, którego powinniśmy brać za wzór my wszyscy, walczący pod sztandarem miłości i rycerstwa!

Błędny rycerz, który najbardziej będzie go naśladował , najbliższy będzie osiągnięciu doskonałości rycerskiej. A jedną z przygód, w których ten rycerz najwyższą okazał roztropność, odwagę, waleczność, wytrwałość, nieustępliwość i miłość, była ta, gdy odszedł wzgardzony przez panią Orianę i oddał się pokucie w Górach Nędzy, zmieniając swe imię na Piękny Mroczydar, imię rzecz jasna znaczące i właściwe dla życia, które on z własnej woli wybrał. I właśnie naśladowanie tej drogi jest najwyższym poziomem wtajemniczenia w sztukę błędnego rycerstwa! Żadne tam rozpłatywnie olbrzymów, odrąbywanie głów wężom, zabijanie chimer, rozpędzanie wojsk, zdejmowanie uroków! Ja chcę iść za przykładem Amadisa, oddając się rozpaczy, szaleństwu i furii, ale tak by nie skrzywdzić nikogo.

Nie ma geniuszu bez ziarna szaleństwa. Szaleństwa, którym człowiek dotknięty, jeśli piękność ziemską zobaczy, przypomina sobie piękność prawdziwą i oto skrzydła mu odrastają, on je rozpinać usiłuje i chciałby wzlecieć, a nie może; tedy, jak ptak, w górę tylko patrzy, a że nie dba o to, co na dole, przeto go ludzie biorą za wariata. Ze wszystkich szaleństw takie obłąkanie najlepsze.

Zapytacie, a jaki mam powód, żeby zwariować? Czy tak jak Amadisa jakaś dama mną wzgardziła? W tym rzecz i cała przebiegłość mojego planu, że szaleństwo błędnego rycerza z jakiegoś konkretnego powodu nie przynosi zaszczytu ani radości; sprawa polega na tym, żeby postradać zmysły bez okazji dać do zrozumienia mojej damie, że skoro robię takie rzeczy na sucho, to co zrobię na mokro?

Jesteście ciekawi, jak wygląda praktykowanie szaleństwa przez błędnego rycerza? Zaprezentuję to wkrótce w praktyce, bowiem kiepskim byłby malarzem ktoś, kto by wyrysował wzór, jakim by powinien być człowiek najpiękniejszy, i należycie by wszystkie rysy w rysunku oddał, ale nie potrafiłby dowieść, że może istnieć taki człowiek.

Zdradzę wam jednak, że na początku trzeba rozerwać swoje ubranie, rozrzucić broń i bić głową w skały, albo co innego twardego, co się znajdzie pod ręką. Musicie wiedzieć, że te wszystkie rzeczy, które będę robił, nie mogą być udawane jak w teatrze, lecz jak najprawdziwsze, w przeciwnym bowiem razie występowałbym przeciwko prawu rycerskiemu, które zakazuje nam mówić jakiekolwiek kłamstwa, a robić coś zamiast czegoś innego to tyle, co kłamać. Zatem bicie głową w ramach praktykowania szaleństwa błędnego rycerza musi być prawdziwe, silne i poważne, nie może zawierać w sobie nic pozornego ani udawanego. I nie wystarczy jeden dzień takiej pokuty, jesteśmy bowiem tym, co w swoim życiu powtarzamy. Doskonałość nie jest jednorazowym aktem, lecz nawykiem. A nagrodą i ulgą w bólu głowy będzie przyjemność. Albowiem przyjemność życia jest przyjemnością płynącą z ćwiczenia duszy; to jest bowiem prawdziwe życie.

Kończę już swoją mowę i wyruszam na drogę światłego szaleństwa. A tych, którzy wątpią w prawdę słów moich zapytam: A WY KOGO NAŚLADUJECIE? Może samych siebie? Hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

 

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396 odpowiedzi na DON KICHOT W METRZE

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